So, we watched Stranger Things, and, as promised, we have a spoilerriffic conversation about it. Surprise, surprise, one of us didn't like it as much as everybody else. After that, we talk about Enterprise, which actually put together a pretty solid two-part story arc. Unfortunately, they used three episodes to tell it. Oops. We talk about "Borderland," "Cold Station 12," and "The Augments," and marvel at how much Brent Spiner classes up the joint just by showing up. Then, Mad Men gives everybody their own personal panic attacks, as Pete Campbell laments his plight, Pryce takes a shot to the head, Roger gets blindsided, and Don lets fear of exposure drive him to his "Hands and Knees."
Well, after all their years of searching, the crew of the Battlestar Galactica finally reaches their destination, and whoops, it sucks. We talk about "Revelations," "Sometimes a Great Notion," and "A Disquiet Follows My Soul," and talk about just how awful it is for them. And then, on Mad Men, the ladies get the spotlight, as Joan gets robbed, Peggy lectured to, and Faye thinks she fails an important test in "The Beautiful Girls."
Well, the fourth (and final, thank the Prophets) season of Enterprise is here, and they start by completely screwing up the resolution to that wacky cliffhanger. But was there anywhere interesting to go, really? We talk about "Storm Front" parts one and two and just kind of shake our heads sadly, before complaining about the third episode, "Home," which does almost everything wrong but gets one subplot exactly, exactly right, and that just makes the rest of it all the more frustrating. Then, on to Mad Men, as Don Draper begins taking stock of life in the only way he knows how: pretentious voice over narration, as he contemplates his role in the universe in "The Summer Man."
You know what, no show is perfect. And Battlestar Galactica is an especially imperfect show, with its better ideals often crowded out by a tendency to wander down weird, dark rabbit holes. This week, the fourth season slows to a crawl for a bit in "Guess What's Coming to Dinner," "Sine Qua Non," and "The Hub." There's good business here, but there's also a lot of stalling, a lot of pointless Romo Lampkin, and a *lot* of the awful Quorum, which J. cannot stand. Elsewhere, Robby can't explain Cylon bathrobes, and J. gets hyped about the new season of BoJack Horseman and tries to describe the WWE's new brand split to someone who doesn't watch wrestling. It kind of works! But then we get to talk about Mad Men, and (spoiler) J.'s favorite episode. Peggy loses her boyfriend, Duck loses his shit (almost literally), and Don thinks he's lost the last important thing in "The Suitcase."
Well. Enterprise finally wraps up its third season, with "The Council," "Countdown," and "Zero Hour." Will Archer and company save Earth from certain doom at the hands of the Xindi? Of course they do, what's the matter with you. But things get...complicated from there, as you can tell from the way J. can't stop giggling while they talk about it. Elsewhere, we talk Mad Men, as Roger has a few flashbacks, Don has way too many drinks, and Peggy strips down in "Waldorf Stories."
Enterprise gets dark as we head toward the end of season three, and in "Damage," "The Forgotten," and "E^2," it actually kinda works! I mean, with conditions -- this is Enterprise, after all -- but two of these three episodes are pretty solid, and one of them is probably in the top five episodes of the entire series. (One of them is...not. But it's heart is in the right place.) Afterwards, we turn to Mad Men, as Pete gets good news, Peggy makes new friends, and Don has to duck to avoid being mauled by "The Rejected."
Season four of Battlestar Galactica begins, with the Cylon business kind of breaking down and the writers struggling to make any sense out of anything. It doesn't entirely work. We watch "He That Believeth in Me," "Six of One," and "The Ties That Bind" and try to sort everything out of the soup. Afterwards, we continue our trip through the fourth year of Mad Men, as the gang rings in the New Year by spreading out and getting kind bummed out. Lane fires his secretary, Joan looks to the future, and Don tries to handle a great big helping of "The Good News."
It's not often that we point to Voyager as a positive example of anything, but when Enterprise straight-up copies an episode of its older brother, we have to give credit where credit is due. We talk about "Doctor's Orders," "Hatchery," and "Azati Prime," all of which give us plenty to grumble about. Then, we continue our look at Mad Men's fourth season, as Don gets grabby, Glen stays creepy, Lee Garner gets whiny, and Roger Sterling is probably glad that "Christmas Comes But Once a Year."
Battlestar Galactica finally goes flying off the deep end with its WTF-errific third season finale, "Crossroads," in which Ron Moore (again) blows his show up on a whim, characters fall apart (physically, emotionally, and psychologically), the dead return to the living, Tory neglects to comb her hair, and everybody gets an old song stuck in their heads. It's pretty much crazytown. Elsewhere, for the third year in a row we turn to Mad Men to get through the summer. We kick off the fourth season with awkward divorce holidays, on-the-nose prostitutes, worked-shoot grocery store fistfights, and Don getting a tough lesson in managing his "Public Relations."
Or is it HYDRA? SPECTRE? MASK? CHAOS? COBRA? The shadowy gang of international criminals we learn about in the Elementary season finale is never actually given a name, but we make a few suggestions while discussing how everything turns out. Elsewhere, Enterprise returns to the warm bosom of mediocrity with a trio of passable-I-guess third season episodes, "Proving Ground," "Strategem," and "Harbinger." Yes, they're going to try make the Temporal Cold War business all make sense. Riiiight.
J.'s having a day of jubilee -- "Burn the Witch" is a great song -- and it can't be ruined! Though Battlestar Galactica is gonna try pretty hard, with three episodes -- "Dirty Hands," "Maelstrom," and "The Son Also Rises" -- that deal with the three constants of life: death, lawers, and labor relations. Watch Adama threaten to murder Cally as the writers kind of forget out to write characters in the rush to make a (confusing) political point! In the meantime, we talk about Elementary's latest, "The Invisible Hand," in which Moriarty is replaced by...Moriarty?
Holy hell, Enterprise actually gets one right. Like, super right. We talk about "Similitude," "Carpenter Street," and "Chosen Realm," and actually have good things to say. In fact, we have no issues declaring one of these episodes to be the best Enterprise episode to date. And one of us actually enjoyed all three episodes! (The other says that the other two were garbage, but hey.) We also talk about the plot-thickening going on on Elementary in "Turn It Upside Down," as they downshift for the season finale.
So, our new co-host explains at the top of the show, but there were so many technical problems that kept this one in the can for a month. But never fear, the show is back just in time for our outdated Super Tuesday jokes! In this episode, we were talking about Battlestar Galactica, specifically "Exodus, Pt. II," "Collaborators," and "A Measure of Salvation." Also, Elementary, probably. I'll try to make sure this never happens again.
Yeah, so: we're deep in season three of Battlestar Galactica, and these three episodes -- "Taking a Break from All Your Worries," "The Woman King," and "A Day in the Life" -- are all kind of...less than great. It turns out they were all the victim of post-production second-guessing and reshaping, which J. talks about, but the episodes are still just kind of...there. Oh, well: no one's perfect. We also talk about over-the-top flood coverage, baseball's slow start, the just-ended second season of Better Call Saul, and how Elementary stole J.'s spec script idea. (Not really. But really.)
We do a brief post-game on The People vs OJ Simpson (it was great) before moving on the Elementary doubleheader, followed by Enterprise doing its own "Isaac and Ishmael" ("The Shipment") and then completely crapping the bed ("Twilight" and "North Star"). Remember Sammy Jenkins? The Enterprise writers sure do!
Well, that's what Apollo and Starbuck are at this point (complete with Sawyer and Juliet in Anders and Dualla). We talk about a three-episode Battlerstar Galactica arc that does more things well than it does badly -- "The Passage," "The Eye of Jupiter," and "Rapture" -- though we obviously find lots to complain about. Before all of that, though, we fill the space left by the lack of a new Elementary episode by letting J. gripe about WrestleMania (it was seven hours long, you guys) and by having an in-depth discussion and comparison between Hulu's 11.22.63 (which J. has not seen) and the original novel (which Robby has not read). We have fun.
Isn't this supposed to be the good part of Enterprise? There are tiny, tiny, tiny glimmers of hope, but this week, we see it's still mostly the same old stuff: Archer and crew being fooled by an obvious scam ("Rajiin"), an episode with an evil sickness that only Phlox can magically cure ("Impulse"), and an episode that makes Hoshi look like an idiot ("Exile"). And speaking of the same-old, Elementary turns in a rather CSI: hour, which kind of brings down our enthusiasm for its newly announced fifth season.
What happens when a show makes an episode that feels geared specifically to you but you still don't like it? We talk about Battlestar Galactica this week, as the third season sort of settles into a rut with "A Measure of Salvation," "Hero," and "Unfinished Business" (Robby watched the aired cut; J. watched the extended). Also, Elementary talks about superheroes as they investigate the murder of the Midnight Ranger (not Night Ranger, which may have been a better episode).
So, this is it: the part where Enterprise apparently gets its shit together. Does it? I'll let them tell it, but suffice to say the first three episodes of the third season -- "The Xindi," "Anomaly," and "Extinction" -- do show some signs of life. (They also feature a huge, moon-man sized step backwards, but what can you do.) Also, we talk about Elementary's most canon-inspired episode yet, "Hounded," and talk about how it stacks up against The Hound of the Baskervilles. (Spoiler: at least it's better than what Sherlock did.)
It's Super Tuesday, which you'd think would mean we'd be doing something super, but no: Enterprise. We finally reach the end of the godforsaken second season with "Bounty" and "The Expanse," and while we don't think like these episodes very much, either, at least the finale is a systematic tearing down of the entire show with the promise of starting over in season three. Else, Elementary riffs on the old master-of-disguise gag in "Who's That Masked Man?" and we end up talking about Hollywood racism somehow.
J. borrowed the title of this week's episode from one of his favorite Local H songs, and it's appropriate, because we're talking about the Battlestar Galactica bad-choices-for-understandable-reasons-a-thon that is the opening of season three: "Occupation," "Precipice," and "Exodus, Pt 1." And this is about as dark as the show gets, folks. (It don't get much darker than the heroes employing suicide bombers, does it?) Elsewhere, Elementary adapts (which is to say borrows a title from) the canon in "A Study in Charlotte," and J. has plenty of rage to dole out about the X-Files finale. Plus, we open the show talking about assassin ethics and babble about The Witness. Don't ask me why I just broke down the show in reverse chronological order, I just work here.
Hey, sometimes an episode suggests two titles. Whatcha gonna do? Anyway, this week, we're recording a day early and talking about Elementary, which provides a pretty decent mystery, even if it's not what J. ordered. Then, Enterprise just...man, it's Enterprise, I'm running out of adjectives for "mediocre." We talk about "Cogenitor," "Regeneration," and "First Flight." They're bad. We also talk about our favorite lines from The Simpsons in here apropos of nothing, so there's that!
We are taking requests! Details at the top of the show. Meanwhile, CBS hired Bryan Fuller to run the new Star Trek series and everybody's excited. On Elementary, Watson is invited to play Night Owl to Cortez's Rorschach. Then, we wrap up Battlestar Galactica's second season with "Lay Down Your Burdens," as the ragtag fleet settles on New Caprica and everything is fine* forever**! Don't blame me, I voted for Roslin.
Welp. The podcast is late this week because J. spent several days trying to uncorrupt his audio files to salvage the entire second of this show, which was beset by connection problems of all kinds. It didn't work, regrettably. So here's what we've got: we talk about home improvement (and Home Improvement), J.'s new obsession with The Witness, this week's superlative X-Files episode (even Robby liked it!), Elementary's struggles with motif vs theme (which allows J. to talk about Leverage), and one Enterprise episode, "Judgement." Our discussion on "Horizon" and "The Breach" are forever lost to time. Sorry.
The truth is...over there somewheres, probably? After dispensing with a rather forgettable episode of Elementary, we get down to the real business: the long-awaited (?) return of The X-Files, and the premiere of its unlikely tenth season, "My Struggle." (Robby only watched the first episode, as we discuss.) Were Mulder and Scully given a compelling enough reason to return? Could the mythology stand the test of time and still hold up in this very different time? Has Chris Carter spent the last decade learning how to write dialogue that sounds even remotely the way actual people actually talk? Listen to the episode and find out the answers! (Hint: The answers are all "no.")